So, I heard some unpleasant stories the other morning regarding certain relationships of people I really care about, and it got me thinking about relationships in general. I just can't shake this feeling and this wondering of why we put up with so much? What's the point? Why go through hell and waste our time when we could be out being fabulous all on our own...
Okay. So I'm just going to come right out and say that I am probably the WORST person in this world to give out relationship advice. (Unless of course you are in a relationship that is a. unrealistic b. doomed to fail c. with someone that makes you crazy or d. all of the above) Normalcy is not really my forte. Maybe it’s a curse; maybe I do it on purpose. The verdict's still out on that one...However. I do believe that it makes me a credible and non-judgmental source for those of you out there that maybe know what I'm talking about here. If it's fucked up or unbelievable...I've lived it.
In fact, there's not much I haven't been through when it comes to relationships. And I just can't quite get back to the part where I put myself out there enough to believe all the bullshit that guys hand us these days. I mean really, who can a girl trust? Let's be honest, 99.99% of men are shitheads. to the core. We all know this. A good friend of mine (who is much better at advice than I am and much more blunt) once told me that every guy is a lying asshole, and if he isn't then he's just tricking you. So what do we think...can this really be the ugly truth? Is there really no one good left out there for us to find and love; someone who will not be a lying cheating douchebag asshole? I think there is.
I have to uphold the hope and believe that we deserve better, the best actually. I know too many smart, amazing, successful, beautiful women who depend way too much on a guy for their own satisfaction and happiness in life. I'll admit I was once that person. I'll admit I still struggle to NOT be that person all the time. But, what I do know is that it has to be possible to side step the jerks and find someone who adores you just the way you are. I guess what I am saying is that I'd rather be alone than to know that I am settling in any way shape or form. I'll be single forever before I'll settle, because one thing that I've learned from all the disastrous relationships I've been handed is that I'm still me. With or without anyone else. That's all anyone can ask for. Besides, if you don't know yourself than how can you expect anyone else to ever really know you??
And ya know what, let's get real... We ALL could use a little honesty in our lives. A little reality. I'm not writing this sitting here pretending like I'm a perfect angel who's never told a lie. I would never claim to be perfect. (I would never be that self righteous.) What I will claim is to know when enough is enough. If you are lying, there's a reason. And you aren't only lying and hurting the person on the other end of the relationship; you're hurting yourself. If something is meant to be, it should be easy. It shouldn't be a 24/7 job and it shouldn't be a game of who's better, prettier, more successful than who? It should just be about love, or the hope of finding and maintaining it. Plain and simple. Every day can't be a holiday, but when the sound of someone's voice on the other end of the phone makes you feel that much better and that much stronger, no matter how shitty the day's been, that should tell you something. See. When I think about it like this it's really not so complicated.
Relationships shouldn't be about titles or what you can gain from being with someone else. I tend to feel like we title things more for other people's sake than for our own. I'm not saying I'm opposed to titles. Eventually they do become...necessary. But, I mean, when did relationships become so public anyway? And why does everyone care so much? Everyone always seems to have an opinion. What's wrong with letting people be happy and free to figure things out on their own?
Am I contradicting myself here? I don't mean to. I just think that if there is any hope for all of us out there who feel a little pessimistic about the whole happily ever after thing, we've got to stop tearing it down and letting other people do the same. And why not just be straight forward in our relationships, instead of playing all these studid games. Just a thought.
Well, until next time...
Love it! Great post!
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